Ariq Rafiqy

Congratulations to my abang and his wife, on their newborn baby boy (11-12-11)~ C:

OMFG. I'm officially an auntie now!!! :D

White elephant

The little brats and me watched a play at Esplanade Theatre Studio last Wednesday and it was such an awesome and funny show! :D

I really enjoyed it - The White Elephant and Bukit Batok (why the hills cough)! I give it 8 thumbs up for being such an interactive and amusing play~ C:

Us and the actors! Hehe!

Swing with the Stars D&D 2011

Hello anyone who is reading - more photo updates! I personally like Tumblr when it comes to uploading photos on blog, but I don't want this space to be wasted... so here I am.

Photos are from 12-11-2011 Dinner & Dance. Enjoy~ C:

Katong & Raffles -the dance crew

Katong!

Ms Sally and the Fabulous Four

Geetha and me

I forgot her name but she was my course mate and she's a principal! :D

Sexy ladies

Marseile and me

The 2 bestest colleagues

Step jambu lah ni

And never knowing

Well, I'm not perfect...

It's been awhile, been a week since I turned 23. I didn't have a HUGE celebration like last year, but it's enough that some people remembered. I was upset, definitely. I had plans but oh well. Some things just never go your way.

I have been hanging out with `Kinne Gangster` every week now. We meet, we part and we meet again - true story of our life, which has happened quite a lot of times.

I literally have nothing to say, which is maddening. I'm becoming more and more of that shallow 'hate the world and everyone in it' emoshit person. Sighs.

FTW.

Honestly? Yes, I might shut down this blog for good.

Counting down

10 more days to another year! C:

Exactly...

20 more days to my birthday! :D

Where Dem Girls At

Yesterday I attended my lil' brother's paintball tournament. Quite a disappointment, didn't get to see him actually play... So me and happy pill decided to cam-whore instead.

08/10/11 - East Coast, Baby! :D

Quite empty when we got there...

Sudden freeze and peace yaw~

Can see right, SO EMPTY . . . not even a small crowd...

Had such a great day, thanks to the happy pill who always has time to spend with me! Sayang kau~ C:

Burst and Bubbles.

Day 3 of Chicken Pox. It's super unbearable.

I can't wait till the "small, liquid-filled blisters break open and crust over". Apparently that will take about several days.

I can't wait to get this damn disease out of my system soon! I can't stand it!

The first to find another state of mind

Malacca 2011 - Pat's Katong

September 2011 - we're almost at the end of the year. This year again, I think I failed to make myself a better person. It wasn't my resolution to start with, but the determination was on and off the whole year. :(

We have some serious shit politics at work, but I get along. I mean, I don't have any quarrels with Xuemei (my class laoshi), so it's all good. We are not on good buddy terms but at least we're talking and informing each other on a daily basis, which is more than I can say for some other classes. Oh well, hopefully I get another class again. I'm just not keen to start K2 with my bunch of little devils. Oh please let me take the Nursery level or K1!

Malacca was great but the bus trip was torture. Lucky I had some happy pills to sit with me! We gossiped and played Happy Family like nobody's business at the back of the bus! Food was so-so but you know, good company means everything's good. I can't imagine sitting next to a person who sleeps during the whole bus trip to and from Malacca, we're supposed to have some bonding session! Not sleep time!

Anyway, whatever...

I hope to fly off to another holiday soon. I so need a break! :D

Nobody's Perfect

Hello everyone.

Suddenly 22 feels so old to me, yet I barely scratch the surface of my future, life, whichever.

I've been teaching forever, and it's getting on my nerves already. That one day finally came, the day I'd finally lose my patience. That moment wasn't so bad, not really. I mean, I kinda expected worse, since I'm a natural temper throwing monster. But hell, yes... I think I may have had enough of teaching. I think.

I don't have a social life at all, which would have meant my life is really over. But then again, these peaceful days whereby I don't foresee any social dramas and don't have to listen to never-ending social problems is really something to be grateful for. I barely have friends, not that I don't have any, but somehow my life doesn't seem to fit them or around them anymore. Those friends I used to have. Wow, memory killer much.

I mean, I have your numbers and emails but why bother when your enthusiasm is as fake as the LV bags some people are carrying around.

Did I foresee being such a cynical bitch in denial? Perhaps not, but here I am.

Fat hope, fat wish, fat me.

Right.

Gotta go, be back when I feel like it again.

Time Flies.

Look at the date and time, exactly a year ago.

Private Scraps

A few years ago, I really liked who I was. I was very confident, sometimes to the point of being cocky, I never doubted myself, I was very nice (: , I accepted and encouraged everyone I knew, I was idealistic, overly positive, trusting to a fault and lived a pretty much balanced life. Then I met him. I really don't want to whine because everyone gets screwed over sometimes, but being with him shattered a lot of my mental framework. I became hard on myself, and started pushing everyone away from me. I have much less patience now and I am borderline-rude much more than I'd like to be. Basically, I am the exact opposite of the person I was a few years ago. It's incredible to see just how far I've fallen and how much of a 180 degree turn I made.

2011, another year, another beginning.

Last year, around the same time, was when I really let myself go. I was truly lost and devastated over my break-up, and considering when I am now, today . . . there isn't much different, except this time, I'm grieving in pure silence.

I let myself go, and no one was there to witness it save for two kind souls whom I hold a deep gratitude to. But even then with their help, I couldn't be half of the shadow I used to be . . . not even close.

2010, I was at my lowest point, but nobody knew because I carried on with the happy-go-lucky masquerade. Nobody knew, so no one rescued me from my own oblivion.

I picked up my own broken pieces through the months, I literally forced myself to move on, even though a little of me was dying inside with each waking moment. The happy image portrayed outwardly didn't matched the dying hopes raging through my mind and heart.

I was badly broken, but I couldn't let anyone see it, even now.

Now . . . my only resolution, is to believe in myself again, and I know in my heart if I could take that step then I could sort the rest of it out much easier.

I want to return to myself, the Ernie I can be proud of.

That is all, I want to do.