Then a reality. Now a memory.

It does not count if you believe in yourself when it's easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you believe you're going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you. 

It counts when it's hard to believe n yourself, when it looks like the world is going to end, and you've still got a long way to go. That's when it counts. That's when it matters the most.
- pleasefindthis, I Wrote This For You
Saturday, 1st July 2017.

I stayed out late last night and I woke up quite late today. Good life, in a sense.

I will be starting in a new workplace - new environment, new class, new colleagues, new everything - come Monday. I feel a little anxious, but mostly excited because wow... A month of 'holiday' has put my brain on a stagnated mode. I don't like 'not working', not really. But I just can't wait to get started, new challenges and stu…

A Determined Effort Under Difficulties.

Slowly but surely...

Good morning lovely Sunday, It has been quite a week, being unoccupied at home. Like seriously? I had wanted to be a SAHM for the longest time ever, but when it really came down to it... I'm literally bored to tears.
I mean, yes I can wake up late. Yes I can sleep all day. Yes I can watch TV and play games and go shopping and literally just do whatever the fxck I want... BUT! It's driving me redundant.

Supershitmodel me.

On a side note, I thought to myself that since I have THAT MUCH TIME in my hands, I might as well be active on social media. You know, be the next Xiaxue... BUT! I don't see the point in wearing makeup and dolling up every single day; because let's face it... I have LESS THAN 20 followers on social media. I'm not even a quarter as popular as my own younger brother who post all kind of shit and still manage to get 1000 likes. Exaggeration much. Haha, so whatever yeah...
Plus I'm not even endorsing anything. Come on, sponsor me cl…


I don't like my mind right now Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic And I drive myself crazy Thinking everything's about me Yeah, I drive myself crazy 'Cause I can't escape the gravity - Linkin Park
Hello 2017. I did not keep my promise to keep this blog going because... it has been a long year for me since 2016, Too many things happened and too little time to slow down and digest what is happening.

I made many friends, and I lost many friends in the process to find what I really want in life. I haven't been able to do what I enjoy doing solely because work took up most of my time; away from my personal and social life.

But then again, despite all the "unnecessary problems"... Life has been somewhat good to me and my baby boy. Fayruz is turning 5 soon and I've already settled comfortably in my career - although I'm thinking of jumping ship at the moment. Lol~

I …

Feeling April, Feeling Blue

I remembered I had wanted to blog some "reflection and stuff" when I came back in 2016. But I guess work, work, work kinda took over.

Yes, it's been almost three months since I started my new job at BTP and I'm kinda looking forward to being a principal in about 2 or 3 years time. Kinda. But other than that, well... There's still so much to be done and I'm already exhausted. 

Physically, I don't look as tired as I sound but believe me, work is putting a pressure on me that I've never experienced before. Some days it can be downright motivating but other days it makes me want to murder someone's kid. 
Being in charge on curriculum is kinda cool despite the work load. Going after teachers to submit their lesson plans and evaluations and monthly reports is tiring. But the satisfaction when you get the whole month's worth of six (which includes me) teachers' work is kinda rewarding. Tiring but rewarding. I'm gonna work hard even though I&#…

Woke Up, Thinking It's Sunday Already.

I woke up thinking it's Sunday already because when I checked my phone... It showed 7:45 earlier. Saw my mum in my room and thought "oh maybe she's going to the market, wonder what's for breakfast..." Haha! Then an hour later I'm wondering why I'm hearing familiar voices from under the block so early in the morning and why was it so dark outside.

Because it's still Saturday. Saturday night.

Lol, I know right. I'm getting old.

Happy is spending time with Fayruz and he's in sucha cheeky good mood. Pictures are throwback to dinner with new colleagues @ Arnold's Yishun, got invited at the last possible minute... And I was like, I'm honestly tired but why not?
They have this informal fortnightly kinda gatherings to promote staff bonding. Which is nice in a way. BUT I have a long way to go to bond with them. Haha.
Everything is still new but manageable... However the workload for me now is like, thrice as many. Between my own class and check…

Water Fun & Arcade Time

Hello again.

It's only been my second day of work and I feel overloaded with basically just... WORK. Haha.
It's very intense being "incharge" of some minor areas at work and I'm not even at principal level yet. Intense; and I'm already quite close to giving up. But as always, I must persevere and see what areas I need to personally improve on. This change was what I had wanted, to see if I have leadership skills. 

Anyway, I got my hair done and I realised that it's just way too long for me! Rimas hor! It's actually an acceptable length lah but I don't know why I feel it's too "in my face" with the curls (though I seriously love it)  and the fringe... High maintenance gitu if I want to keep hair this long... I honestly don't know how other girls still look gorgeous in this line of work but I'm just way too lazy to maintain beauty and style.
Ok done complaining about my hair.
I had fun with Fayruz today; went to the kids …

Goodbye SW, Hello Berry Tree!

And so, today was officially my last day in SW preschool. So gonna take this opportunity to express my grateful regards to all my ex-colleagues. I enjoyed working with you all! And I'm really gonna miss our lunch breaks and principal's "nagging"... Haha.

Thank you for all the gift(s) and encouragement! I am really going to miss this ladies!
But insya Allah, I am moving forward with my career and hopefully I am able to face the new challenges ahead! Jiayou!
Happy moment today; as always I try to include one per week since daily I can't seem to actually find time to blog...
My first ever pedicure session with BFF! Woo Hoo! 😂

Haha! Pink again? I know right... But these are from the Hello Kitty collection! I just cannotttttt! Hehe...
Another good catch-up session with BFF, and though she has her own commitments as well, I'm glad we could meet up and catch up.

As for me, I've actually let myself go quite far this time. 60kg is actually no joke and though I st…