Then a reality. Now a memory.

All you have to do is... stay.

It does not count if you believe in yourself when it's easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you believe you're going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you. 

It counts when it's hard to believe n yourself, when it looks like the world is going to end, and you've still got a long way to go. That's when it counts. That's when it matters the most.

- pleasefindthis, I Wrote This For You

Saturday, 1st July 2017.

I stayed out late last night and I woke up quite late today. Good life, in a sense.

I will be starting in a new workplace - new environment, new class, new colleagues, new everything - come Monday. I feel a little anxious, but mostly excited because wow... A month of 'holiday' has put my brain on a stagnated mode. I don't like 'not working', not really. But I just can't wait to get started, new challenges and stuff like that.

I find myself getting more and more distant with people whom I used to be close awesome buddies with, the more I focus on myself and my life. Priorities, right? I used to think that was selfish - to focus on me instead of others, but I'm slowly learning that it actually is a necessary thing to do - cutting off toxic ass people from my life. Even if said people are my close friends or colleagues.

It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize the people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.

- Nicholas Spark

Moving forward, no matter what. But what if you don't feel like cutting off the years of friendship when you know the relationship is not healthy for your mind and soul. Because the truth is, removing toxic people from your life is actually not the difficult part. Not feeling guilty about it is.

So yeah, it IS something I must learn to do, to respect myself enough to walk away from anything that /anyone who no longer serves me, grows me or makes me happy.

Well up to date... I haven't been doing much lately, just lazing at home. Play games. Facebook, Whats-app, chit chat, makan, sleep. Repeat.

I went back to my mum's hometown for a week, and it was a nice change of environment as well. Less negativity, more self-love. Hehs~ I'm going out now! I need to get myself those Qiji popiahs because I am so craving for them, and God only knows why I have sudden weird cravings.