"I cried for you each night and day, I wished upon a million stars we'd be okay. Those tears I cried in thoughtless pain... The tears that will hinder me from smiling ever again."
Praying for love and paying in naivety
Seems like I am getting more and more distant with him, no matter how I try...
God, why is it so hard?
What can I do, when the very best of me I've given is not enough to save our relationship? Plus the fact you're not even trying, dude. You're not, and it hurts me to know I'm clapping with just a hand, on my own again.
God, why are you doing this to me?
You can apologies a thousand times and make the same 'I won't do it again' promise a thousand times, but you still end up hurting me by doing the same old bullshit a million times more. There is no end to this cycle and I honestly want out. A divorce.
People may say I'm a heartless bitch, emotionless. I'm too exhausted to try and save a meaningless marriage. Mentally and emotionally exhausted. I don't know why I'm even trying. You're not.
I don't even want to play the blaming game, or point fingers anymore. I am at fault for letting you have your way and you are at fault for taking advantage. I don't wanna try no more, it's been a rough road for the last two years.
Your friends, your never-ending alcohol and being drunk, your pubs and clubs and hostesses, your hotels and drugs, your secret texts and calls, your insensitive ignoring of my needs, just everything about you screams divorce to me. I've put up with quite enough, don't you think? Another wife would have gone through depression or kill herself... Or the very least get a fucking divorce.
But I am no saint either. I am in the wrong as well, but I'm done trying to pick up the pieces you broke in us, in our relationship. Sighs.
I want a peace of mind and if it means getting a divorce, then yes please, I want a divorce.
