Slowly but surely...
Good morning lovely Sunday, It has been quite a week, being unoccupied at home. Like seriously? I had wanted to be a SAHM for the longest time ever, but when it really came down to it... I'm literally bored to tears.
I mean, yes I can wake up late. Yes I can sleep all day. Yes I can watch TV and play games and go shopping and literally just do whatever the fxck I want... BUT! It's driving me redundant.
Supershitmodel me.
On a side note, I thought to myself that since I have THAT MUCH TIME in my hands, I might as well be active on social media. You know, be the next Xiaxue... BUT! I don't see the point in wearing makeup and dolling up every single day; because let's face it... I have LESS THAN 20 followers on social media. I'm not even a quarter as popular as my own younger brother who post all kind of shit and still manage to get 1000 likes. Exaggeration much. Haha, so whatever yeah...
Plus I'm not even endorsing anything. Come on, sponsor me clothes and makeup please!!! Or food?! I enjoying eating food, you know? Lol~
But I guess blogging is going to be made expendable, since not many people have the time to sit down and blog. Plus social media apps make it so, so easy to update anywhere and anytime. Which is great and all, but being a teacher and unofficial grammar police... and I see myself as a writer, I still prefer the traditional pen to paper stuff. Or using my computer, preferably... because I can change fonts and edit pictures and stuffs. Lol~
But back to my boring life, I actually have great news with regards to my career. For two weeks, I had been contemplating between administrative work and other stuff... and then, BOOM! I was offered a golden opportunity that I couldn't refuse. It's not every day the CEO herself calls you to offer a job yo. *insert smug face*
***10 minutes interlude***
Okay I had to stop blogging for awhile because my baby came back home swinging a box of cake for me to eat just now... and now he's making "cake" in one corner of the room. Even though my nose is blocked but I can still smell the wonderful fragrance of his homemade "cake". #perangaisol
My gosh.
Anyway back to *smug face* moment, my previous job left a bad taste in my mouth... so I actually was jobless for the past two weeks. Still am, actually. But I decided to use this time to take a real break. At the same time I also sent out my resumes mostly for Admin Officer vacancy. The sad thing was, no one wanted to employ me! Too overqualified, we cannot pay you that much, why don't you try teaching roles instead etc etc etc...
So I was stuck, actually. I don't want to go back to teaching but at the same time I don't have the skills or qualifications for HR/administration line of work. Joke much siah dekni. So how like that? Of course with such limited qualifications but remarkable experiences and accomplishments, I started to look for teaching jobs NEARBY my house. Reason being traffic and distance won't even be an issue hehs (and because aku memang pemalas lah nak travel jauh2).
And do you believe it, there was no lack of childcare centres and kindergartens in the area, it was like Pokemon GO in the sense that I'm searching for jobs instead of Pokemon! Haha, so I enthusiastically sent out my resume to the different CCCs yesterday and praying to God that I may hear from one of them soon next week.
However the best part is... in less than 3 hours, I received a call from the CEO of one of the nearby CCC and I was literally over the moon, because number 1) she offered me a job and number 2) she remembered me from my very first workplace! My gosh! Blessings from God above, that I am truly grateful for.
There are hidden blessings in every struggle.
Even if I get rejected when I'm done with the interview, I'll still see it as a blessing. After all I have been through in the last 1.5 years under a management that die-hard want to micromanage everything... I believe that when we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change. At such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.
In my previous post, I wrote that I wasn't able to do what I enjoy doing because work took up most of time... I broke up with the most wonderful boyfriend because when two people are busy with their lives and careers, there's just no way to prioritize each other without becoming resentful.
My relationship with my son was so strained that every night I come back home hearing "Mummy I hate you", "Mummy, you don't love me anymore", "Mummy, why we cannot play together?" "Mummy I don't want to stay here with you" etc etc... It was so stressful but in my heart, I thought I was the one who was not smart enough to manage time, that I was at fault that I could not balance work and personal time.
But it wasn't me, in the end. It took a huge blow to my personal pride and career from the management to OPEN UP my eyes.
Those who pray for your downfall are concentrating negative thoughts towards you, without taking cognizance of the slippery ground in which they are standing, which could lead to their downfall.
You see, people are everywhere. They are everything. No matter who we are, or what we do, people are involved in our lives. If those people are poisonous, our lives will be poisonous also. But I learnt, my gosh did I learnt... From the bad things and bad people, I learn the right way and right direction towards the successful life. And now I am mindful that I've reached a point in my life where I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I'm not here to prove myself to anyone. Just live my purpose.
Dear Allah, thank you for surrounding me with positive people who supports me even though I feel like the worst human being around, and thank you baby for being patient with mummy even when I am the worst human being to be around with. This is not easy for both of us, we're always having to adapt to new changes since day 1 but we've been together through thick and thin, boy... I always tell you I need you to be strong for Mummy, so that Mummy can also be strong and face each and every obstacles and problems thrown in our way. Sometimes I am the worst role model, literally the worst. But I'm also human, and I make mistakes. So we gotta keep staying strong, don't quit... and keep on fighting. I'm the king and you're my little soldier, we can do this together, son.
I honestly believe that God above has his reasons to let me struggle through the past year... But I can turn it all around today. It doesn't matter what went wrong before. Make things right in your life right now and start winning. 6 months into the year, 6 months left to go. Gotta make sure I end this year further ahead with all of my goals accomplished. Insya'Allah amin.
Let's see where we all are next year. Good luck.
